• love's a bitch, then you die.
  • Roses are red
  • Violets are blue
  • Fuck you, whore.
  • Friend: I just don't understand how you're still single. You're so damn funny, you have the best personality!
  • Me: Because people love to fuck a great personality....
  • (Going through old photos)
  • Brain: You were an idiot for letting her go.
  • Me: Shut the fuck up, like I didn't already know that, shit.
  • Brain:
  • Brain:
  • Brain:
  • Brain: Fuck you.
  • Me: (makes joke)
  • Me: (laughs so hard)
  • Friend: (Stares)
  • Me: (Punches friend in face)
  • Loki: Enough! I am a GOD, you daft creature, and I will not be bullied by-
  • Hulk: (Smash Boom Crash Smack Pow Crack Bang Pineapple)
  • Loki: o.O
  • Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
  • New Yorker: No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.
Greatest.
  • Pacha: Uh-oh.
  • Kuzco: Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.
  • Pacha: Yep.
  • Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
  • Pacha: Most likely.
  • Kuzco: Bring it on.